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PostPosted: 15 Jul 2010 13:31 
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No one posts in here anymore! You're all rubbish and thoroughly miserable! :lol:

Anyway, I was sent this email this morning, and thought I'd share the joke:

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio two to one, etc.
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you? [/color]
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food are fried these day in vegetable oil. In fact, they permeated by it. How could getting more vegetable be bad for you?!?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle? A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me? A: Are you crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for your figure, explain whale to me..
Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is shape!
Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

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PostPosted: 15 Jul 2010 13:33 
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:lol: :lol:

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PostPosted: 15 Jul 2010 13:59 
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:P
I've always counted the lemon in the G&T as 1 portion of my 5 a day too!


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PostPosted: 15 Jul 2010 19:53 
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:lol: :lol:

I like this :lol:

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PostPosted: 15 Jul 2010 23:08 
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:lol: :lol: :lol:
thats a good one :thumleft:

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PostPosted: 16 Jul 2010 02:09 
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[smilie=clap.gif] they was brilliant :lol:

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PostPosted: 16 Jul 2010 09:01 
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And the raisins in a fruit scone counts as 1 of your 5 a day - well at least that is what we tell ourselves in the staffroom at work on inservice days when we demand the HT buys us all a scone hehehehehe. :lol: :lol:
xx

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PostPosted: 16 Jul 2010 10:42 
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:lol: :lol: :lol:

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PostPosted: 19 Jul 2010 16:53 
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fiffes wrote:
And the raisins in a fruit scone counts as 1 of your 5 a day - well at least that is what we tell ourselves in the staffroom at work on inservice days when we demand the HT buys us all a scone hehehehehe. :lol: :lol:
xx

:lol: :lol: :lol:

I think the same about the fruit in my cheesecake! :lol:

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