Joined: 25 Jan 2007 14:25 Posts: 7932 Location: Birmingham
Yesterday the boys went to their induction day at their new school where they start in sept.
Ive decided to split them up in hope that they will get on better at home, to give them chance to be individuals and not "the twins". I want them to learn how to develop relationships without relying on each other all the time.
Adam is very bolshie not afraid of anything and Thomas is very chilled and laid back, so i was more worried about him.
When we got their Thomas went off with barely a glance back but Adam looked like a little lost soul, very timid and quiet.
Thomas really seemed to come out of himself, but it seemed to knock Adams confidence.
When i collected them the teacher didnt say he had any problems but then she was very busy trying to get all the kids out.
Have i done the right thing by splitting them up ?
Joined: 05 Jun 2009 09:12 Posts: 3593 Location: North Yorkshire
Yes hun, I think you have done the right thing. It would be all too easy to keep them together all the time, but its a wise and selfless thing to do as they will learn more about their own identities and personalities, as well as interacting with people on their own, so they are treated as separate individuals,rather than 'the twins' as you mentioned before. It will help them realise they are autonomous from each other both with different but equally fantastic qualities
I know how gut wrenched you must feel to see your lo looking lost and sad, but I bet once he gets in there and mkes a few friends, there will be no stopping him. Good luck and hugs, i hope they settle in soon
Joined: 24 Jan 2007 20:36 Posts: 20876 Location: West Midlands
That sounds like a good idea Charlotte! I think, like you said, it'll teach them to be individuals & also their friends will see them as individuals & not 'the twins'. I think it'll defo help them, esp when they are that bit older & don't wanna hang around with each other all the time. It'll teach them how to be more sociable without relying on the other's help
I know it doesn't feel like it now, with Adam seeming a bit more reserved than usual, but they will both benefit in the end (and I bet it won't take long for Adam to settle down & return to his usual self!)
Joined: 12 Jan 2007 07:52 Posts: 16306 Location: norfolk
you have defo done the right thing!
They need time to be individuals, make their own friends without being lead by their brother.
I know twins in coles yr, in reception they were kept together and they used to sit together, work together, play together and gang up on other kids in yr one they were seperated and they both have their own friends, are both doing better at reading and other school work also their behaviour has improved!
you have done the right thing and you will see that soon after they have started!