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 Post subject: Need to vent
PostPosted: 27 Apr 2011 03:28 
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I have decided to take matters in to my own hands and when my period is gone i am going to call my gyno and make an appointment to find out why i havn't gotten pregnant and also for a pap smear. As for my hubby I am prepared to to this on my own with or with out his support and help Perfeably with his help and support. See When he needs support and help like when he is sick ect I give him all the support and help a person can possibly give and when i need support or help he don't give me any. I am upset becuase when i am sick and that I dont have tiem to sleep and fill better I always have to do the house work and cook the meals cause he dont ever cook for me or clean for me when i am sick hell he dont even go to the store to get me stuff to fill better where as i always go and get him what he needs. Hubby told me today that since i havent finished cleaning the spare room he don't want or fill like kids and that if i cant do all of the house work then how can i take care of kids. this is the house work i do which is cleaning the this post is spam take out the trash,clean the dinging room,living room,bathroom, master bedroom,sweep,mop,vacuum,laundry,clean the basement and also feed his fish when he choose not to. then there is the out side work which is shoveling in the winter time,mowing the yard front and back,clean the back patio,clean out the carport,weed eat around the trees ect,weed the garden. I also take care of our dogs which is not a big deal. he was also complaining about how i choose not to do the house work instead spend time with my family whom i get to see only on thursday of every week once in a while i go see my mom on Monday but not for very long.


Last edited by Asdel on 27 Apr 2011 20:34, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Nedd to vent
PostPosted: 27 Apr 2011 09:19 
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tell me about it.....I live in a house of men, its just me and my 14 year old dog against my other half and 3 boys one of which is 13.....not fun when im ill and no1 cares :( I try to get on chat but no1 wants to speek to me there either :(..... unloved is commonplace in my house too.... sending love and hope you get what you want someday :) <3

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Loving being a mum to my 4 boys :)


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 Post subject: Re: Nedd to vent
PostPosted: 27 Apr 2011 09:56 
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hey lovely, it really doesnt sound like you are very happy at the moment. If you read back your own post you do an awful lot for a man that doesnt seem to do anything at all for you. Are you sure that this is a man that you want to be with and have children with? It seems like you need sit down and have a good chat with him and decide together what you want from your marriage. I hope that everything works out as you want it too. There's lots of support on here for you xx


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 Post subject: Re: Nedd to vent
PostPosted: 27 Apr 2011 16:24 
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I have to say that I was thinking some of what Tonks was saying hon. I know that men can be a bit on the lazy side and sometimes don't do the touchy feely stuff well but it's hard work doing everything by yourself, and a little help and support goes a long way.

Sending (((hugs))) hon and hope things start to look up soon. <3


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 Post subject: Re: Nedd to vent
PostPosted: 27 Apr 2011 19:12 
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Tonks wrote:
hey lovely, it really doesnt sound like you are very happy at the moment. If you read back your own post you do an awful lot for a man that doesnt seem to do anything at all for you. Are you sure that this is a man that you want to be with and have children with? It seems like you need sit down and have a good chat with him and decide together what you want from your marriage. I hope that everything works out as you want it too. There's lots of support on here for you xx


I agree with tonks here. You will find a lot of support on here as this is a site full of lovely, caring people but are you sure your relationship would stand the added stress of a baby.
Although you sound as though you would cope quite well with a baby yourself is this what you want as a couple? Reading your post it doesn't sound like it is. Tonks advice sounds good. A talk with your other half is in order.

Sending ((hugs)) I hope you get the answers you need and want.

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 Post subject: Re: Nedd to vent
PostPosted: 27 Apr 2011 20:34 
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I asked him 6 questions last night 5 Very important one and 1 not so important

Question 1) Are you willing to give up your negative attitude? he Answered I didnt know i had one

Question 2) on a scale of 1 to 10 were on the scale is our relationship at? he answered 7 that was Before you cuddled with me

Question 3) Right here Right now I need to know can i count on your help and support stating now? He Never Answered it

Question 4) Do you trust me? he answered mostly

Question 5) Would you please be my calorie counting partner I cant do it alone? and he answered back with maybe sure yes i don't know

Question 6) Are you ready to do your huny do list every other day? he never answered that one either

He also told me this am that oh you left the mac and cheese out along with the sour cream he then said that he didn't fill like taking care of it so he knew it was out and didn't want to take care of it I would have if i wouldn't have been stumbling over my feet from being so tired. I have also decided that I do not want to bring a baby in to this Relationship Even though i am a strong woman and could take care of the baby I just don't think it would be wise until i know if things are going to settle down.

What other Questions should i be asking him?


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 Post subject: Re: Need to vent
PostPosted: 27 Apr 2011 20:59 
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Ah it really does sound like he is putting you through it at the moment :( If I were you I would ask him where he wants your marriage to go and does it include children? You need to put forward what you want to happen too (ie - joint responsibility in the house etc) and go from there. It must be really hard for you putting your baby plans on the back burner cos I know that when you want one it is all that you can think about! x


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 Post subject: Re: Need to vent
PostPosted: 27 Apr 2011 21:08 
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yes it is hard putting having a baby on hold but i wouldn't want the child to know stress ect


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 Post subject: Re: Need to vent
PostPosted: 28 Apr 2011 07:58 
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Tplyd I hate to say it, but he sounds like a selfish pig. If a baby came into the relationship would he help out at all, or would he expect you do look after the little one, pus the dogs, his fish and keep on top of everything that has to be done in the house?
He needs a dose of reality.
If it was me I'd quit feeding his fish when he forgets. They're his fish and if he wants them, he looks after them. If he forgets to feed them then tough, you forget too.
(((hugs)))

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 Post subject: Re: Need to vent
PostPosted: 28 Apr 2011 19:29 
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I really do feel for you at the moment. I know how hard it is when you want a baby. Everything in your life seems to go on hold. It was all I could think about when I wanted my third child.
My partner was happy with the two we already had and wasn't really keen on another
baby. I was so obsessed with the whole idea of another baby I told him that I had stopped taking the pill and it was up to him now if he wanted come near me. Extreme I know, but it was how I felt at the time :roll: .
I am really lucky as my husband did come near me :lol: and I had my little boy Mathew. My husband is really really supportive he told me after I had had Mathew he was glad I took a stand and it made him realise that he did want more children.
He decided on our latest little addition to our family, baby Stacey and we have both decided we have enough now :lol:
Eventually your other half may grow up a bit and realise what you actually do for him. Hoping he does for your sake. You sound like you have a lot of love to give to a baby but you are right to put having a baby on hold at the moment.
Hope things get better for you.
Sending big ((hugs))
x

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