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 Post subject: Feel like giving up.
PostPosted: 18 Apr 2009 12:55 
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Brendan is 15dys old now & still only weighs 7lb 13oz's. He was 8lb 8oz at birth. mw said I'm not satisfying him & should top him up with formula she rang a peadatrician who said the same & if he still hasnt put weight on tuesday he will have 2 go 2 hospital to see the peadatrician. Oh & cuz I also burst into tears at this I've also got post natal depression but I'd like to see any mother not be upset by someone telling her she cant feed her child. I'm starting to question the whole point of bf if it aint feeding him.

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Last edited by Claire20585 on 18 Apr 2009 13:43, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Feel like giving up.
PostPosted: 18 Apr 2009 13:05 
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Sending big (((HUGS))) hun. Don't give up Claire you're doing a fantastic job and giving your little man the best start. I don't think you MW was very supportive telling you to top him up with formula. I'm not sure about why he's not putting on weight but I just felt for you when I read this post. I'm sure there are others on here will be able to advise better - possibly Janis (Eeoyre) Just wanted to say everyone is here to help support you through this so don't stop BFing. Also what a silly thing to say that you have pnd of course you were going to cry. Professionals can be so annoying sometimes :evil:

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 Post subject: Re: Feel like giving up.
PostPosted: 18 Apr 2009 14:10 
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oh hun, i really feel for you - sometimes our milk just isnt enough though - i really hope he puts that extra weight on so you can continue to feed little man - if not still feed him just give him a little top up at bedtime - it may help hun.

as for the pnd i dont see how crying is a full indication - surely she cant just assess you on that!

try not to worry hun
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 Post subject: Re: Feel like giving up.
PostPosted: 18 Apr 2009 14:28 
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Oh hun know exactly what you are going through I tried bf Lilli I managed till she was 6 weeks but when you see photos of her now from then she looks ill. I went to the doctors and cried my eyes out feeling like the crapest mother ever and the doctor was lovely said I had tried my best and bf isnt for everyone. I went home bought some formula and did breast and formula in 1 week Lilli had put a pound on. And the difference in how she looked was amazing. So please dont beat yourself up. I hate the way everyone pushes breastfeeding.
I did the same with Amelia and I was useless again at feeding her so put her onto formula earlier.
I guess some people just cant breast feed.
I know I couldnt even trying to express I could only manage about 2oz which was rubbish.
I used to beat myself up about it all the time.

Sending big hugs hun xxx

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 Post subject: Re: Feel like giving up.
PostPosted: 18 Apr 2009 14:39 
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Claire I hope you don't think I was pushing breastfeeding - it just sounded in your post as if you wanted to carry on and weren't getting much support from your MW. I hope things improve and that you are able to continue breastfeeding but if you do have to give Brendan formula I agree with Emma don't beat yourself up. You are doing what's best for your baby and that's the most important thing. It's also important that both your little ones have a happy mummy so don't be so hard on yourself :)

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 Post subject: Re: Feel like giving up.
PostPosted: 18 Apr 2009 15:01 
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This happened to me with Kian, although he was 3 months old & only gained 2 oz in 4 weeks so I was told by my HV to give him formula, which I did (I didn't know much about b'f at the time & just did as she said). I felt terrible too & I also cried because I felt I had failed :( I don't think that is a reason to diagnose pnd on its own. It's a normal reaction hun.

How often is he feeding & do you think he's attaching & sucking ok? Do they have a lactation councillor who could visit you? Some mws & hvs don't have much of a clue about b'f.

If you don't want to carry on though hun, there's nothing bad in that. Both Kian & Zac were only breastfed until 3 months which was only half the time I wanted to do it for. If you are happier to formula feed or mix feed then do that. You're his mom after all xxx

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 Post subject: Re: Feel like giving up.
PostPosted: 18 Apr 2009 16:42 
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Don't give in yet. He hasn't lost that much weight in the grand scheme of things and TBH with the amount of stress you've been under as well as the disruption to your hormones it's hardly surprising that you're having problems. I'm feeding Jacob at the moment but when he's finished I'll find the right phone numbers for you to get some proper advice so you can make an educated decision.
Midwives and paeds know woefully little about breastfeeding (one last year told me that I was making Jacob ill by weaning him at his own rate...I note I never got an apology when he was proved wrong)
In the meantime try taking him to bed and get lots of time skin to skin with him to encourage your milk supply.

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 Post subject: Re: Feel like giving up.
PostPosted: 18 Apr 2009 16:54 
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Right, I have a whole list of contacts for you. Find yourself a breastfeeding counsellor that you feel most comfortable with and put your trust in her not your midwife or HV, after all a BF counsellor is only trained in breastfeeding and even if she dosen't know the answers she'll know someone who does
La Leche League Great Britain
Helpline number: 0845 120 2918 Open 24hrs for mums needing help overnight in those can't wait until morning situations.
The Association of Breastfeeding Mothers
Helpine number: 08444 122 949 open every day from 9.30am to 10.30pm
The National Childbirth Trust
Helpline number: 0870 444 8708 (seven days a week between 8am and 10pm.)
The Breastfeeding Network
Supporterline: 0844 412 4664 9.30am to 9.30pm every day of the year
The National Breastfeeding Helpline
Helpline number: 0844 20 909 20

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 Post subject: Re: Feel like giving up.
PostPosted: 18 Apr 2009 16:56 
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I knew you were the woman Janis :D

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 Post subject: Re: Feel like giving up.
PostPosted: 18 Apr 2009 16:59 
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LOL me and my trusty old boobs :lol:

I really do think you need to give it a good old try Claire, if you really want to continue breastfeeding but give up now because of an ill informed midwife and paed (neither of whom will have had ANY formal training in breastfeeding) then I suspect you possibly will end up with full blown PND.

ETA is he having lots of wet and pooey nappies? What's going into them bears a direct relation to what you're putting into him, so if he's peeing and pooing well then you have plenty of milk.

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