as most of you may already be aware, i've been suffering with depression for over a year now (actually, i was diagnosed on 27th November 2009 and only went off ill from work in March last year) and until then, didn't have a clue about anxiety and panic attacks...

i also didn't know that 'depression' is a nice way of saying 'nervous breakdown' - getting my head around that politically-correct terminology took me almost six months!

i'm a fun-loving kinda gal who enjoyed socialising with friends and family..was always up for an adventure...the life and soul of the party! yep, that's how everyone, in a nutshell remembers me, including me...

these days i'm trying to get my life back..grabbing hold of those glimpses of my old self with fervour and embracing them which means that i will sign up to do a 10k marathon but cannot find the drive to train for it; that i will sign up to do a diploma in Childcare and Education yet vomit every morning before i leave the house because i have to leave the house...

yes, i now have another inconvenient label to add to my building 'depression repertoire'. there's anxiety - which in itself, is a good thing, but in large doses is terribly evil, there's panic which is a bosom buddy of anxiety, let's not forget the nervous breakdown aka depression and now agoraphobia...

i am very proud of myself for having taken part in the 10k on Sunday and completing it in awesome time - yes, 1hr 40 mins - but i've since only had the energy to sleep since i got home on Sunday which i found terribly lazy of me but i've only just realised that my body has been trying to catch up with all the nervous energy spent getting me through the event! wow...

this anxiety and depression illness really does throw some curve balls...always gotta be looking out for signs and then trying to figure them out otherwise nothing changes...

so now that i've had my 'eureka!' moment, i'm off to have a shower...

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luv ya Lorrie, still waitin on that book x

you are amazing and you will get through this

Thank you for being so honest Lorrie, it helps to understand how you and others suffering out there feel. Well done on the 10k - I hope you get your energy back soon!

Well done on the 10k..

It could have been me that typed some of that out i have had anxiety,depression.social phobia for over 10 years..I also use to go out night clubbing,having fun etc..

Time is a healer and having Louis has helped a lot..I still can't go out at night but can finally go out in the day as long as i'm in my car..

I wish you al the luck and you should be so proud of yourself

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I recently saw a great quote about depression "DEPRESSION IS NOT A SIGN OF WEAKNESS BUT A SIGN OF BEING STRONG FOR TOO LONG" something im sure many can relate to

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Getting up in the morning and leaving the house every day is in itself a big achievement, let alone being around people in a confined space and committing yourself to something as massive as a 10k run. You may find that after the adrenaline rush of running the marathon may come a big 'crash' and the depression and anxiety may kick in worse than before. The anxiety will always try to 'get you' in many different ways, to 'catch you out' and put you on guard when you logically don't need to be that way at all. You're a strong woman though Lorrie, but you don't need me to tell you that on any level.

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