hi,
this is my first time posting here. i have a 5yr old daughter with special needs but we don't know whats wrong with her. doctors are refusing point blank to assess for ASD and say there may never be a diagnosis for her. we think she is ASD but not sure.
when she was born, she had swallowed loads of blood(they failed to spot placenta coming away and blood clots) and was not breathing. took 5 mintutes to get her breathing.
i feel so so alone, and certainly the docs won't listen to me- they keep trying to tell me it's because i don't love her thats behind it all- but i do love her and she knows i do.
i guess what i'm looking for is advice on how to deal with the moods(she has such a temper) and the meltdowns. and how to deal with her attitude towards her little brother as she is really quite mean to him- trying to hurt him, taking his toys off him, breaking his toys. just fed up of her wrecking the house etc and i want to be able to help her deal with things.
should also add she has speech and hearing problems- the docs also dismissed her speech problems at first and it took a year of fighting to get her speech therapy which she still has in school.
so any advice you may have will be very much appreicated,
thank you x

Hi there
Welcome to the site. I'm Fiona or Fee mummy to 19month old Ella. I am also a Special needs teacher in East Kilbride, currently working in a school for moderate to profoundly disabled children, although have lots of experience across the board of special needs.
What I would suggest is speak to your SLT and ask her to make a social story for your daughter about hurting her brother. Also ask about the use of boardmaker. This is a series of symbols which indicate what is happening next. By setting up a First and then board, it will allow your daughter to see what she is to do at all times of the day. It is a lot of hard work keeping these boards going, but believe me they are invaluable. Once she has routine, and knows what is going on in her life, you probably will find that many of the behaviours will subside.
As for the diagnosis, keep fighting if you feel you need a label. If i am honest I dont even know what most of the kids in my class have - dont need to. I work with what is in front of me, and unless it is jumping up and shouting at me - Like Downs, Williams Syndrome, Cerebal Palsy, or even severe Autism / Aspergers, I never look into it further. However, if you are looking into schooling, it is often easier to know what is wrong before deciding on the best school. One thing while we are talking about school, make sure an IEP (individualised Educational plan) is set up immediately to help your daughter learn.
Good luck - hope some of what I have said makes sense. You know where I am if you want a shoulder to cry on. I may not be in your position, but understand fully as I work with parents just like you, as much as the kids.
xx

_________________

hi welcome to the site.i'm teresa mom to louis whos 4..

_________________

hi and welcome sorry to hear about your doughter i really hope you can get the help and support you need hope to chat sooon x

_________________

Hi, welcome to the site. I'm Emma, mummy to Lucy who is nearly a year old.

I'm so sorry to hear about the problems you have with your daughter, I wish I had some advice for you but I don't have any experience of anything like this. I really hope you get some decent help soon, please come and tell us how you're getting on xxx

_________________

Hello hun & welcome

I'm sorry to hear about your daughter. I would be inclined to see a different doctor or something to try & get a diagnosis. Just keep on pushing for it, at least then you'll be able to get the help & support you need. Ask to be referred to a different hospital if needs be, they should at least test her for ASD if that's what you think she has.
I would defo take Fee's advice about the schooling stuff. She is wonderful at giving our members great advice regarding this.

BTW, I'm Lou, mommy to 3 boys, Kian 5, Lucas 3 & Zac 21 months. Hope to see you around the site soon

_________________

hi,
thank you so much for the welcome and support. i go to see gp yet again today.
i will be making an appointment to see the teacher about what support they can offer for her.
thank you again xx

I'd be asking for a second opinion. Can you see another doctor in the practice? I've yet to see our registered GP and we've been with the same surgery for 8 years! Seen every other doctor there tho'!!
Hopefully someone will listen to you soon hun x

_________________

Hello and Welcome

sorry to hear you are having such problems getting help for your daughter, I hope that by keeping pushing you get the help you need for her. Just wanted to say hello and welcome, I'm Vickie, mum to Rohan, nearly 3 yrs. Welcome and hope to chat soon xx

_________________

Hello and welcome
Im Maddy, 28 and mum to Jennifer 5, Liam 4, and Adele2.
Im sorry to hear you are having such a rough time of it. I would def ask for a second opinion, I hope you get all the help and support you need very soon, good luck

_________________