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Jane595595
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Posted: 16 Feb 2010 11:58 |
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Joined: 01 Apr 2008 11:18 Posts: 7254
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> NICKNAMES > > > If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other > Laura, Kate and Sarah. > If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each > other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes. > > > > EATING OUT > > > When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in £20, even > though it's only for £32.50. None of them will have anything smaller > and none will actually admit they want change back. > When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. > > > > MONEY > > > A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs. > A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's on > sale. > > > > BATHROOMS > > > A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, > shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel . > The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A > man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items. > > > > ARGUMENTS > > > A woman has the last word in any argument. > Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. > > > > FUTURE > > > A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. > A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. > > > > SUCCESS > > > A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. > A successful woman is one who can find such a man. > > > > MARRIAGE > > > A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. > A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does. > > > > DRESSING UP > > > A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the > rubbish, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. > A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. > > > > NATURAL > > > Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. > Women somehow deteriorate during the night. > > > > OFFSPRING > > > Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about > dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, > secret fears and hopes and dreams. > A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. > > > > THOUGHT FOR THE DAY > A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people > remembering the same thing!
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Sel
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Posted: 16 Feb 2010 13:07 |
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Joined: 03 Feb 2009 00:24 Posts: 6045 Location: Windsor, Berkshire
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