We have been looking to buy a house for a while and recently looks like we can afford to do so. So have had loads viewings, and see a smashing house. Its about 45 mins away from dh's work, but so much cheaper than the outskirts we have been looking at. It needs nothing done to it and i love it. But dh has shown his mum and she has been so dismissive and passing comments like, " oh well birthdays and xmas's to see my grandchildren", making him feel really guilty and now he doesnt want to go ahead with buying it because his flippin' mum wont come out and visit. But where we are is 20mins from her and she has been over to our flat twice this year!!! Dont know if its just me being touchy and heavily pregnant but im well pi**ed off!!!!
Joined: 24 Jan 2007 20:36 Posts: 20876 Location: West Midlands
OMFG!!! 20 mins is nothing. It takes my mom 20 mins to get to my house & she is here virtually every day! It's up to her to make the journey as well as you going to her, so if she wants to see you more than once a week then she knows what to do!
Tell your hubby how much you love the house (& the price!!!) and that you want his support in living somewhere you both want to, not just somewhere to please his mom. It's nasty of her to put a guilt trip on him.... how flippin' selfish!!!
Hope you manage to convince him it's the place for you x
I agree with Lou hun,i wouldn't let it go not if it's the house u want,why would any mother act like that? she should be happy that the 2 of u are buyin a home together and not tryin to hold u back,and as Lou said it works both ways the visitin
Joined: 14 Jan 2007 17:48 Posts: 25545 Location: Strathaven, Scotland
Oh for FFS she needs a slap. Sorry but it has sweet FA to do with her! God my inlaws are over 6 hours away! When we were over 6 hours from my parents I swear I saw them more than I do now (they're 15 mins away)
Joined: 19 May 2009 16:34 Posts: 4 Location: Weymouth
God i think all mother in laws should have restraining orders so they can only come over once a month. Mine is exactly the same and coz its his mum i can only say so much before he goes oi pack it in its my mum. Recently i had to give up some extra work that i had been doing for work (id been taking data entry home to earn some extra cash) but i was just finding it too much with two kids another on the way, work, studying (im studying to be an accountant) looking after the house and running round after hubby. All she could say when i told her was to look down her nose and say Oh..if thats what you want to do. Poor steve (hubby) will just have to do more hours i suppose. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
You need to say to your husband, tough! This is for your family now and that comes before his mum. Shes had her turn playing mum when he was growing up, its his turn to do it with his family now and enjoy it. Not being held back by her.
I know where your coming from and how you feel. As the others have said you are his family but no matter how many times you say this I doubt he will listen and it may cause arguments. ive married a mummys boy too and long for the day he will stand up to her
Well, to cut a long story short, the house is under offer, and a offer accepted and is well over our budget already. So im gutted. But next one that i see that i want im just going for it. If he wants to keep mummy happy, he can frigging move in with her. Cheers quines xx
Well, time for a update. We have the house!!! It was under offer at a stupid price, and the people s mortgage offer fell through, the sellers kept house at what they had been offered. But just before xmas, they dropped the price to our budget and we got it!!! He went and told his mum and said that she was welcome to stay WHEN INVITED!!!!! and she would still see kids, etc but if she had a carry on and was critical of our descision then she did not have to bother if she felt that strongly about it!!! The man i married is BACK!!! YIPPEEEEE!!!!!