It's took me ages to come on here and say how i feel as didn't want you all to think i'm moaning..

The last few days i have been so low and crying alot but not in front of Louis..I have had to go to the doctors and i'm now on anti d's

My mother-in-law is really poorly and the chemo has knocked her about..The morphine is making her sleep alot and she's in a lot of pain when awake...

When i last went to see her it broke my heart..The hospital said she will be home soon and i just don't now how we are going to cope as i'm the only female as she has 3 sons and one is in a wheel chair with md and has always depened on his mom
.my fil is in ill health too but he's so old fashioned and doesn't want any outside help..

I also have Louis who comes first having physio and asking about his nanny alot at the moment as she only lives across the road and he misses her 4pm phone calls and misses seeing her and when she comes home to be honest i dont want louis seeing her in the state she's in..

I'm trying to be strong for everyone but i'm crumbling.

_________________

Hiya hun, just wanted to say that no-one will ever think you are moaning. It sounds like you have a lot to cope with just now. You have your own child to look after as well as your sick mother in law. Nothing I can do to help, just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you at this hard time. Sometimes it's better to get it out of your system and what better to do it than on here as the ladies on here are lovely and understanding.

Take care

Amanda
x

_________________

big hugs to you, chicklet...you're amazingly strong to be able to come here and explain all this...that shows true strength

i don't know what i can say or if there is anything i can say that will help ease the tremendous pressure you're under at the moment but i just wanted to let you know that we're all ears, any time of the day or night...you just write it and we'll be here for you the best we can

thinking of you all

_________________

(((hugs))) hun. You under huge amounts of stress, so it is no surprise that you feeling low.

When my mum had her first breast cancer the chemo knocked her for six, she got an infection and ended up in intensive care. We nearly lost her and the stress was tremendous, but you are coping with something similar plus a whole load of other things, so don't you dare feel like you are moaning.
Your FIL might be so old fashioned but if you need outside help you need to get it, his sons need to explain to him that it is too much to cope alone. Ask at the hospital about MacMillan nurses, they will come in and help with your MIL and are wonderful people.
You need to think of yourself hun, you don't want to be ill over all the stress, that isn't going to be good for anyone.
xxx

_________________

((hugs))
Firstly, none of us here will EVER think you are moaning! You are going through such a tough time at the moment its no wonder you feel so low, especially trying to keep strong in front of little ones, its so hard. I just wanted to say Im thinking of you and Im always here if you need to talk x

_________________

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Cant really add to what others have said chick. No wonder you are so emotional with everything you are having to deal with at the moment. But you know where we are for a good old shoulder to cry on when you need us
xx

_________________

Thanks girls and your comments made me cry.

mil had a turn for the worse last night and they have given her meds so she's sleeping alot now for a few days.. so she won't be coming home for a long while yet..

i spoke to fil this morning and said i can't cope and he will think about the macmillan nurses again.

Louis has been really good and this morning he came into my bed and said mommy i love u so much and so happy your my mommy..

It was just the lift i needed today...

_________________

Hiya hun. You are being very strong & as everyone has said, it is a lot to cope with on your own & if you need help then you need to get the whole family together & make them realise that as you are the only female, a lot of the burden falls on you & that help from the nurses would be best all round, especially in helping your MIL feel as comfy as she can as they are obviously very experienced in that area.

Please don't feel like you are moaning, we would never think of it that way. You need to let off some steam & to talk about your feelings & sometimes on here is the best way to do it. I hope that your FIL will agree to the nurses. Maybe talk to hubby & get him to have a word with his dad too.

Big hugs to you all & little Louis who sounds like a little angel, bless him.

xxxxxxx

_________________

Can't add to what the others have said but didn't want to read & run. Thinking of you all hun & I hope your FIL gets the help you all need xxxxxxx

_________________

Sending lots and lots of cyber hugs your way. You need to get things off your chest somehow so please keep coming on here & doing it, dont bottle it up as it only makes things worse. We will always be here with open ears (fingers!) xx