The natural thought that jumps to one’s mind when the word ‘hormones’ crops up is that of moods, responses, teenagers and similar. That’s what I thought. However, it has an effect on many other things. I stay on the subject of teenagers for this particular point and wonder if hormones have any effect on the way our bodies smell. We all know about those pheromones and their role in attracting a mate, but do that have any effect on how much or little someone’s feet smell? Perhaps I should look into it a little more deeply.
Yesterday there was a bit of a niff in our upstairs landing and it was eventually traced to somewhere in the vicinity of our middle daughter’s bedroom. She actually then said that her wardrobe seemed a little bit smelly. Holy mackerel! Men aren’t supposed to cry as much as women, or so I believe. All the research seems to show that, despite recent trends for it to be more socially acceptable for a man to cry, not much switches on the waterworks in my case. But I was presented with a pair of those Ugg-type boot things – you know, the ones that are fur-lined and always seem to fold to one side just above the ankle – from deep in the offending wardrobe.
Gordon Bennet! The paint was peeling off the walls the smell was so strong! Tears welled up in my eyes, and other fluids were threatening to leave my person in sympathy. They were immediately dispatched to a safer location outside the back door in order to neutralise our premises. This morning there was a distinct reduction in the amount of wildlife to be found in our garden. Blackbirds and starlings were seen doubled-over a few houses down the road, gagging on the pungent stench from the offending items. Foxes are seeking refuge in food composting bins to escape the physiological consequences of exposure to the noxious gases.
Must be hormonal! Even I, as a forty-something red-blooded male, could not produce that sort of stink, even if I were to wear wellies and nylon socks for an entire week.
It’ll wear off, I’m sure. Is this sort of thing normal with teenagers? Is it normal for teenage girls? Who knows. However I would love to hear similar experiences from those with stinky offspring. Perhaps we could set up a “Stinky Sprogs” club where we all share our experiences and good times. It’s not to be sniffed at!
N
