Tag Archive for crying

Those ’ormones

The natural thought that jumps to one’s mind when the word ‘hormones’ crops up is that of moods, responses, teenagers and similar.  That’s what I thought.  However, it has an effect on many other things.  I stay on the subject of teenagers for this particular point and wonder if hormones have any effect on the way our bodies smell.  We all know about those pheromones and their role in attracting a mate, but do that have any effect on how much or little someone’s feet smell?  Perhaps I should look into it a little more deeply.

Yesterday there was a bit of a niff in our upstairs landing and it was eventually traced to somewhere in the vicinity of our middle daughter’s bedroom.  She actually then said that her wardrobe seemed a little bit smelly.  Holy mackerel!  Men aren’t supposed to cry as much as women, or so I believe.  All the research seems to show that, despite recent trends for it to be more socially acceptable for a man to cry, not much switches on the waterworks in my case.  But I was presented with a pair of those Ugg-type boot things – you know, the ones that are fur-lined and always seem to fold to one side just above the ankle – from deep in the offending wardrobe.

Gordon Bennet!  The paint was peeling off the walls the smell was so strong!  Tears welled up in my eyes, and other fluids were threatening to leave my person in sympathy.  They were immediately dispatched to a safer location outside the back door in order to neutralise our premises.  This morning there was a distinct reduction in the amount of wildlife to be found in our garden.  Blackbirds and starlings were seen doubled-over a few houses down the road, gagging on the pungent stench from the offending items.  Foxes are seeking refuge in food composting bins to escape the physiological consequences of exposure to the noxious gases.

Must be hormonal!  Even I, as a forty-something red-blooded male, could not produce that sort of stink, even if I were to wear wellies and nylon socks for an entire week.

It’ll wear off, I’m sure.  Is this sort of thing normal with teenagers?  Is it normal for teenage girls?  Who knows.  However I would love to hear similar experiences from those with stinky offspring.  Perhaps we could set up a “Stinky Sprogs” club where we all share our experiences and good times.  It’s not to be sniffed at!

N

X Factor – Sob Factor

The third and fourth quarters of the year are upon us again and the time has come to endure another few months of X Factor.

Now we on TheBabyWebsite.com are regular followers of X-Factor, and have been since it started.  However, whether it is something to do with our age, or simply the repetitive nature of things, we are becoming rather Meldrewesque over certain things.

The standards appear to be very high this year – that I can’t deny.  I find myself with even a slight excitement at the potential of the final few live shows, but these Meldrew moments…. well…

OK, I’ll cut to the chase! I’ll spit it out for you!

X Factor?  Flippin Boo-hoo, sob-sob, cry your bl***y eyes out factor I reckon!  What is it with the generations of so-called ‘men’ these days?  Can they not answer a simple question without crying their eyes out? (or is their hair gel getting in their eyes?).

I don’t remember crying that much even when I lost half my teeth as a child to an unmerciful cricket ball doing 70 mph!  I do remember a tear welling up when my oldest was born though, so perhaps I do have just a couple of grams of ‘new man’ in me somewhere.

Come on you bunch of Cissies!  Bite your tongues and get on with it!  Save the crying for when you’re all old enough to receive your own gas bills!

I can’t remember many other occasions when I’ve sat on a Saturday night cussing and grunting at the television screen.  Aaaargh!  Pull yourselves together for heaven’s sake!  You’re driving me nuts!

It’s going to be a hard-fought race I think – If the Nancy boys can stop crying for long enough to perform, that is!  Bunch of wet rags as they are!

Am I alone in my thoughts and feelings? Because if I am, wheel me off to the appropriate psychiatric unit and do what you need to do.  I promise I won’t cry!

Nigel.