We needed an excuse (or did we?) to venture back up to where Robin Hood and his Merry Men once used to hang out in order to kill two birds with one stone.
The first was to celebrate a 21^st birthday and the second was to escape the daily mayhem to somewhere quiet, isolated and with very poor mobile phone signal.

Center Parcs Sherwood Forest fitted the bill perfectly in virtually every respect. It, like its colleagues in Longleat, Elveden and Whinfell, offers a temporary escape into a different world where spoiling oneself is the order of the day. Whatever your pleasure, there is sure to be at least one way of fulfilling it there.

We kicked things off by calming things down in the Aqua Sana spa, where after a couple of hours of therapeutic cycles of sweating and cooling, we were like snakes with recently shed skins, tingling in our newly exfoliated glow. To put a squirt of icing on the cake, it was then time to collect our bikes and build up another sweat on the way to the lodge.

Now when I say lodge, I use the term very loosely. On the outside, yes, it’s a wooden-clad place to stay in the country, but open the door and you’re in something quite different. Ours was described as ‘Executive’… hmm, still rummaging for relevance here… which probably relates somewhere along the distant line to getting things done. Or maybe it relates to the trend for hotel chains to lure more ‘Executives’ by offering them a bottle of water, a bowl of fruit and a more art-deco style for only sixty quid more per night. Who knows! Anyway, this was no country log cabin. The huge reception lounge was skirted by one of the four en-suite bedrooms, each with its own flat screen TV, an open-plan kitchen with all mod-cons, and games room with a veritable compendium of console games, a pool table, various board games and some real old-fashioned backgammon, chess and even a shove ‘alfpenny board. All this accompanied by one of the most comprehensive instruction manuals I have laid eyes on since we bought our Anthony Worral Thomson 3-speed food mixer.

It’s all centrally heated, spotlessly clean and (almost) all in good working order. The ‘almost’ relates to the dodgy dishwasher, which despite a bit of TLC from the maintenance staff, steadfastly refused to de-gunk our plates. There again, with a few of the offspring approaching boredom point toward the end of the second day was it a problem anyway?

We ate out at the Foresters Inn on the first night. This was a real pleasure. The restaurant welcomed us like family and we were looked after by one of the waiters Ossie, who was brilliant throughout, even treating our Birthday Girl to her own special birthday cocktail.

We entertained ourselves with a visit to the ‘SubTropical Swimming Paradise‘ on the Saturday. This, as always was very entertaining with the real grown-ups having an excuse to fool around and be naughty by wreaking havoc on those outdoor rapids while avoiding the attention of the omnipresent lifeguards. Well, where else can we be naughty nowadays? It was all good fun and despite a rather squelchy changing experience it rejuvenated our ‘peeled’ effect from the spa the day before.

As it was a ‘special’ weekend we also booked some of the ‘Experiences’ on offer. The girls hopped and skipped back to Aqua Sana to pamper their faces and fingernails with all the latest chemicals (oops!) treatments while we, the boys, pitted our wits against each other with some off-road ‘Dirt Buggies’. A thoroughly entertaining and quite tiring experience was had by all with Matt, our youngest, stealing the show. We maintain it’s because he was the lightest, but I’m sure there was more than a little skill involved too. We came back dirty and with aching forearms. The embroidery therefore had to be shelved for the night as a result.

Being there on the weekend of November the 5^th meant fireworks. The ‘Beach’ was packed to bursting with revellers off in search of the ultimate pop, bang and whizz. Most weren’t disappointed and the kids all seemed to love it. With plenty of fresh fayre on offer there, it was all-in-all quite a nice night out.

If you’ve never visited Center Parcs, go there! If only to experience it and to be able to relate to others who sing the merits. You’ll definitely leave there feeling stripped of the labours of the daily grind and will almost certainly want to save up some pennies (oh OK, pounds then) for next time.