It is up to you and your family how you wish to honour your baby’s life.
Choosing A Funeral DirectorSome services that you may like to consider include the following:
A service at your own place of worship and burial in your local cemetery.
A service at your own place of worship or at the crematorium, and then a cremation.
A non-religious ceremony. This can be arranged by you, by family or friends or by
organisations including The British Humanist Association.
A service, religious or not, in your own home.
A service of thanksgiving sometime after the funeral.
CostsCharges can vary, so ask for a written estimate before completing your arrangements. Some funeral directors provide funerals for babies free of charge (this means covering the basic costs such as a coffin and transport).
If you are on a low income, you may be eligible for a Funeral Payment from the Social Fund.
For more information, see www.gov.uk/funeral-payments or speak with your Funeral Director.
Burial or cremation servicesYour faith representative or funeral director can help you decide whether to have a burial or cremation. You might like to ask what rights you will have concerning ownership of the burial or cremation plots, what type of memorial will be allowed such as a headstone or plaque, and the costs.
The ashesIf you choose a cremation, it should be possible for the crematorium to provide ashes following the cremation, though not all can do this. It would be advisable to ask in advance and, if necessary, ask for details of another crematorium that can.
Other childrenIt can be helpful to involve brothers and sisters in the funeral, however young they are, so that they can share in the ceremony and say goodbye. A member of your family or a friend could be asked to help care for them at the funeral, and it’s generally best to give children simple, straightforward explanation about what is happening.
MemorialsMany places of worship and some hospitals have a Book of Remembrance in which you may wish to have your baby’s name inscribed.
If you wish to have a headstone or memorial plaque, seek advice from your funeral director and ask for estimates. There are regulations concerning the types of memorial stones allowed in cemeteries.
You may like to plant a tree or bush or have some other form of permanent memorial to your baby.
You may want to keep your own memory box or a memory book, containing items that help you and family members commemorate your baby’s life. If you have other children, drawing pictures of the whole family together and framing them can be a special tribute you can all see every day.