Kids And New Relationships
Having children is a wonderful thing, but what happens when a relationship breaks down and you are left a single parent?
You may find it hard to start dating again, especially with a child or two in tow. How can you overcome the worries and concerns that come with being a parent and be open to new love? Here are some tips on how to successfully introduce a new love into your life and avoid conflict.
Stand Your GroundDon't let your children walk all over you. After all, you deserve to be happy too, but if your kids are still angry that it hasn't worked out with you and their other parent, their regret may make it hard for you to move on.
Finding a good balance between work, family and socialising can be difficult for single parents. The pressure of work and other responsibilities is often magnified by your situation. But it's important to find time to go out and have fun without the kids. When they're older, they might appreciate that you have a life too. In the meantime, stand your ground and make a little time for yourself to meet someone new, whether by taking pottery classes or signing up to dating sites.
Take It SlowOnce you have started dating again, the tendency might be to rush into things and take all that you can get. But wait. If something's going to last, it's best to take it slow. Whether you've met someone online or at work, get to know them before you introduce them to your children. If they meet a new person every month, your children could quickly become distanced, angry or confused.
Once you know that someone's a keeper and the time has come for your family to meet him or her, organise something light. Sitting the children down and giving it to them straight is one approach, but it could fall flat. Why not take the children and your new partner out for the day and have fun together as a form of introduction? Choose an activity your children will like - their feelings take priority.
Deal With JealousySo you've met a special someone and introduced them to your children.
Approach this situation with honesty. Once you have a new relationship you think is going to last, be open about it. It may be hard to find out about your ex partner's new relationship through something your child says. But often this is the way and it puts the ex in a difficult position.
So call them up, sit them down and tell them straight that you have someone new. It may take time for them to adjust - they may throw accusations at you and make it difficult. But the sooner you tell them the sooner they will hopefully accept it and you all can move on.
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