I have to confess I didn't really know very much about the Nissan Note before trying it out recently.
Yes, I was aware of it and I'd seen a few of them around but hadn't paid much attention to them. So anyway, as often happens when it's in my diary, I started paying a bit more attention.
Now was this coincidence, or was I simply a victim of a bizarre conspiracy? I saw LOADS of these Nissan 'Notes' everywhere. In fact visions of The Boys From Brazil flashed through my mind as around every corner was yet another clone of the very first Note I ever saw. However, what was even more disturbing was the fact that behind the wheel of virtually every Note I saw was another clone, this time a human one: she was around 75, wore a tweed jacket, horn-rimmed specs, a spectacular display of liver spots, blueish-purple hair rinse and a matching handbag. Some of these clones were accompanied by male clones, similarly dressed, of similar demeanour, often walking with a similar gait.
This went on for days, so I made it my challenge to find out if my suspicions contained any truth. Sadly they didn't. Over a few more days I caught site of younger members of the species driving this surprisingly popular vehicle. However were they just driving it on behalf of their cloned Grandmother, or did they actually own them? I may never know.
Delivery of the Nissan NoteSo delivery day arrived, and with some trepidation, lest I emerge 3 decades later, I sat inside and went for a spin. No apparent time warps yet, or at least there still appeared to be similar accumulations of McDonalds detritus and empty Magners cider bottles lining the verges of the roads, and bus stop billboards were still advertising only the fourth rendition of Shrek, so nothing major had happened yet thankfully.
By now, however, I had become a little distracted by the array of technology confronting me, so with an air of Spock and Kirk I felt compelled to boldly go where no man under the age of 70 had gone before. Setting up and using the Bluetooth hands-free kit was a breeze, the wheel-mounted audio and cruise controls, the touch-screen sat-nav, the MP3 and iPod audio system blasted out Vera Lynn, Jessie J, George Formby and Kings of Leon with great clarity and even the punk 'Spike Jones and his City Slickers' was music to my ears.
I was now more puzzled than ever about why so many elderly gentlefolk were attracted to such a technologically advanced automobile. Perhaps it was so sedate that heart attacks and other shocks to the system were unlikely, so I pretended to be Stirling Moss, or was I Paddy Hopkirk? I can't remember with my mind as it is these days! I braced myself, made sure my teeth were in firmly and hit the gas. Blimey, my heart was pounding. This was no slouch of a Granny Car! It drove well, handled well, even changed to my old Prodigy album without needing any human intervention. Cornering was confident and Motorway performance was as luxurious as a Shearings Tourer coach. Now I was beginning to see reason.
The final test had to be a shopping trip to see how it performed as a utility vehicle, so lugging my crates of Mackeson and Sherry through Tesco's car park I eventually found my Note - the one without the Blue Badge in the windscreen - and opened the huge square boot to try to squeeze it all in. I moved the zimmer frame aside and all the shopping literally fell in there with ease with more than enough room for my shooting stick to sit over the top. It was quite amazing - even Tardis-like. So back at the controls I put the key back in and after a few strange whoosh-whoosh noises I suddenly appeared at my front door, confronted by the kids asking if I'd remembered to buy the crisps and dips for Saturday night.
That was it! I HAD travelled through time and landed back at my door in the latest version of Nissan's fantastic compact Note, having been well impressed with its finish, poise (very square and conservative at the rear, but sleek and racy from the front) and economy. I actually felt myself thinking 'I really wouldn't mind one of these'. They're really rather good!
So, mind made up, I picked up my walking stick, put on my Trilby and set off in search.
Nigel Crawford.
March 2011
Model Driven: Nissan Note n-tech 1.4 Manual.
Cost OTR. £13,400. |
The Volvo C30
