Parenthood is an utterly life-changing experience - it's physically draining, wonderfully rewarding and entirely absorbing.
It takes up your whole life, to the point that squeezing anything else in seems impossible, especially in the early stages. If you're a single parent, the lifestyle change becomes even more complicated. You'll find yourself neglecting your love life on account of your bundle of joy, staying in a lot more and saying no to invitations, even years after the birth. Obviously it's worth waiting until you're ready before you start dating again, but don't be put off because your confidence has been shaken or you don't think you can find the time. You should be able to find a way to have a busy and varied love life if that's what you want. With the new year approaching, why not make 2011 the time to start dating again?
Here are three simple steps to ease you back into the dating world once midnight has chimed on December 31st:
Find TimeThe main thing to do first is establish a little time just for you and start to feel a little bit independent again. You can't be a parent 24/7. Do whatever you can to make this possible: hire a dependable babysitter - this is a must - and try to give them a night's work a week. Hire a cleaner to do a few hours a week to ease the household chores. If this is all a little too expensive, arrange with family members to watch your kid and help around the house a night of the week. You don't necessarily need to spend this time dating straight away, just establish this 'me time' as a routine. Then, when you're ready, you can move on to step two,
Work on ImageAnother thing that inevitably gets neglected when you become a parent is your appearance. This is the next thing to work on - not because you're in any way less attractive now that you're a parent or anything, but because a little preening will ultimately make you feel more confident and more comfortable with yourself. And when you achieve that, you're ready to date. Spend one of these newly acquired time slots getting your hair cut, or running at the gym. Soon, you'll have renewed self-esteem and a thirst for the dating scene.
Get Out and AboutYou're unlikely to meet your match if you stay inside with your head down. With spare time and boosted confidence, it's time to go out and get noticed. This could be a night out with your friends while the babysitter does a night shift, or even a walk in the park with buggy in tow. You could meet someone on any corner, so grasp every opportunity. Start a new hobby and join a dating site - this way, you'll meet someone in no time.
Whether you're in London dating or in Ludlow dating, don't let parenthood stop you this new year. With the above three steps, you should be meeting a new match by Valentine's Day.
December 2010
Photos © http://www.flickr.com/photos/nicocrisafulli/4418769441/ and
http://www.flickr.com/photos/sidesmirk/481518786/ | 
Dating and Relationship Advice for Single Mums
