Rose Tinted Glasses and The Thin Blue Line(s)

The boys are seven months and at the ready steady stage of crawling....

I've been convinced 'go' will happen any minute for the past week and have given up holding my breath. I wonder if they know they are on the brink of a new realm? I wonder if, on occasion, I am un-knowingly on the brink of a breakthrough parenting moment? Am I one act away from mastering something but, due to clueless floundering, remain oblivious and stuck on the meandering path of muddled Mum? If I were to consult the book of 'Parent Development' would I be up to speed?

I laugh at pregnant me, the lady with the bump and the rose tinted glasses smugly watching Super Nanny, certain I would avoid the more obvious parenting pitfalls. Take a baby into my bed? And risk never getting it back again? Not me! Ummm....

The experts and baby manuals don't take into account heartstrings. The invisible lines that remain long after the umbilical cord is cut. Midnight wails tug at those heartstrings and it takes more willpower than under-slept me has to ignore them. Which is why, on more than one occasion, I have woken with a twin by my side. Maybe if I had one baby I would abide by more rules than I do but with two... I'll whisk one baby away to give me a fifty percent success rate in the sleep stakes.

Multiple Mum

Being a Multiple Mum isn't always twice as hard, but to be honest it isn't always twice as nice either! I knew life would never be the same when I saw the thin blue line but, given that there weren't two thin blue lines I was oblivious to just how monumental becoming Mum would be.

Life has changed in more ways than one (well, more ways than two I suppose I should say...) And the boys and I are settling into a new home. The 'DoDo Household Stuff' book is my bible, containing all the reference notes and figures I'm sure I used to file in my head. The binder is neatly compartmentalized in a way my mind can only dream of being these days!

The view from our new abode is a slice of suburbia, complete with Sunday morning car washes and the hum of lawn mowers. I daren't introduce myself to the neighbours in case they ask me my name... And I may well be too tired to remember!

Some days are more Swan like than others but on the whole the frantic peddling it takes to stay afloat is all too visible. My brain can no longer be trusted to relinquish data on command, which leads to a blizzard of paper notes and memos... Combine this with a trail of half drunk coffees, a chewed lip and a sigh and you begin to get the picture.

I had visions of cooking hearty meals and embracing country life with welly-booted gusto. I even purchased a few cable knit jumpers. But the twins are too young to appreciate lasagne a la Lady Karmel so I

am munching toast and feeding them jars of mush (the paler shades of mush as the carrot type options have dyed everything a shade of orange...I'll go back to beta-carotene when we've mastered the spoon-full not spew-full approach to feeding).

I'll admit that the boys first foods have included astronaut-esque 'just add water' powder. I'll tell you something else, I don't think the word 'organic' appeared anywhere on the packet. I have huge admiration for the Mums who lovingly prepare and freeze ice cube portions of nutritional nice-ness. I desperately want to be one of them. With the help of Matt Hazell aka the baby chef maybe I will be? His easy weaning DVD comes with an inspirational/ aspirational wall chart... Maybe the boys will give me gold stars in a sort of reverse role play reward chart?! For every banana I blend I get a star? Maybe I can trade seven stars for a hot cup of caffeine?

Katy Hymas - Mummy Blogger and Exhausted Mum to Twin Boys
October 2010

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