Plenty of hugs and kisses from your mum as a young child make you better able to cope with the stresses and strains of adult life, according to researchers
The results are from nearly 500 people, from the US state of Rhode Island, who were studied as children and adults. A secure mother-child bond is very important as expressive declarations of love appear to rub off and foster emotional resilience.
But experts say it is important to know when to stop as being a fussy, overbearing Mum can be intrusive and embarrassing for the children, particularly as they grow older. High levels of motherly affection help to facilitate secure attachments, say the study authors, led by Dr Joanna Maselko. This not only lowers distress but may also help a child to develop effective life, social, and coping skills, which will obviously stand them in good stead as adults.
In the study, a psychologist rated the quality of interactions between the mothers and their eight-month-old children during a routine developmental check-up. The psychologist judged the mother's response to her child's emotions and needs, and gave her an "affection score" based on the warmth of the interaction. 30 years later, the researchers approached the children, who were now adults, and asked them to take part in a survey about their emotional well-being.
The group was also asked whether they thought their mothers had been affectionate towards them, with responses ranging from "strongly agree" to "strongly disagree". The results revealed that children whose mothers gave them lots of affection handled all types of distress better. In particular, the children of warm mothers coped with anxiety better than those of emotionally cold mothers.
The researchers said that the findings added to the growing evidence that early childhood helped set the stage for later life experiences, but said the influence of other factors, such as personality, upbringing and schooling, could not be ruled out.
Dr Terri Apter, a psychologist and writer, has studied the effects of mother-child relationships. "What you really want is responsiveness as well as affection - a mother who is in sync with her baby ...... Babies are not born knowing how to regulate their emotions. They learn by being distressed and being soothed ........ A responsive mum will know not only when to give cuddles but also when to stop."
July 2010 | 
Mums And Their Friends
