8 in 10 parents rely on grandparents for childcare and want them to move closer but they don’t like the way their parents are bringing up their children.
Eight in ten mums and dads need to use their parents for childcare at least once a week, with a third wanting them to move closer to them a new survey has revealed. 1,550 parents and parents-to-be were questioned to find out how they cope with childcare arrangements and whether they receive support from grandparents.
The survey by FindAProperty.com revealed that parents thought the optimum distance to live from grandparents was 28 miles on average, with almost three quarters wanting to live within 20 miles of their parents. A third said they would like to move closer and a further one in three want their parents to move closer to them.
Despite the fact that many parents are forced to use grandparents for childcare for financial reasons, there are concerns about the generational differences in bringing up their children. Over 35% of parents said that the main drawback of using grandparents for childcare is that their parents have different rules/standards for their children. One in five stated that their parents often find it difficult to accept the way they choose to bring up their children and a further 15% disliked the facts that their parents discipline their children differently to them.
In addition, 14% felt that their parents needing to stay with them overnight to look after their children was a drawback, while 12% worried that their children were getting too attached to the grandparents.
Psychologist Donna Dawson says:
“Using your parents to help look after your children can be a ‘sweet-and-sour’ experience: ‘sweet’, because it is people that you know and trust who have a vested interest in looking after them (as well as saving you money); and ‘sour’, because family tensions can arise over how you are bringing them up.
“To avoid fall-outs, ensure that your parents are aware of your values and routines and keep talking to them about what you are trying to achieve. If you have rules about how much TV or computer time your children should indulge in, or what food or treats (or lack of!) they should be given, then do make your parents aware of this. Also, try to concentrate on the positive aspects of the arrangement, and keep your minds open to any suggestions that might be useful – after all, grandparents do have a life-time of experience to draw on!”
Families are more likely to live closer to the maternal grandparents, with 55% admitting they live closest to mum’s parents. It is also ‘her’ parents who are most likely to provide the childcare, with 68% saying the maternal grandparents are the main childcare providers for their children.
May 2010
The survey was conducted by FindaProperty.com. They questioned 1,550 parents with children under 16 and parents-to-be in April 2010 | 
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