A new addition to this list, and without a doubt the bestest of the lot, my twin boys.

They arrived on March 10th via Caesarean Section, which is a bit like a magic show without the spangly costumes; Wheeled into the operating room by a smiley assistant, positioned behind a curtain, sawn in half and, ta da,presented with two shiny new human beings. The reassuring weight of twin one in my arms took my breath away and when twin two opened his eyes for the very first time and met my gaze I realized that you are never too old to believe in magic.

I have watercolour memories of the first few weeks. Days and nights running into each other in an adrenalin fuelled sleepless fog. I remember the squeaks and sighs of the boys as they lay snuggled next to each other in a crib, completely at ease in each other's company; familiar yet unfamiliar to me.

I remember Midwives with soothing syrupy voices helping me in and out of bed after the op, my suddenly empty tummy creaking and groaning like a derelict house as things began to settle into post partum position.

I remember standing in the shower on 'going home' day wondering whether my previously puffy pregnant feet

might fit back into my pumps and whether I'd have time to put make up on before Daddy David arrived in the taxi. Ten minutes later I had baby sick on my shoulder, wet hair stuck to my face with no free hand to move it and certainly no time for make up,blissfully happy because I had calmed a crying twin. (I have Patrick Swayze to thank for that moment. Having been told that babies could be comforted by a heart beat tapped on their backs I echoed the infamous 'tap tap, tap tap' scene in Dirty Dancing as didn't think my nervous racing new Mum pulse would be overly reassuring. )

I have cried every type of tear known to womankind; happy, sad, overtired, exasperated, frustrated, and the random no-reason-at-all-tears-that-have-started-and-now-won't-stop.

Mostly tears have been shed at feed o'clock. Tandem breastfeeding is the holy grail of twin-ness. I have mastered it for the sum total of 3 minutes in 6 weeks and sulkily refuse to attempt it anymore.

Breastfeeding one baby at a time is hard enough and despite the mathematical compatibility in terms of the numbers of arms / breasts and babies it doesn't add up. I have had guidance from a variety of experts with assorted techniques from masseuse to nipple pincher. Gradually the formula to breast milk ratio has slid in favour of formula. I will spare you the guilt-ridden to-ing and fro-ing and justifying and explaining and summarise with the following assertion; Happier Mummy equals happier babies.

Despite the brand new-ness of the twins it feels as though I have always known them, and that innate sense of familiarity takes the edge off how scary the parent mountain is. After all right now we are still in the foothills.

Katy Hymas (new mum to twins and Mummy Blogger Extraordinaire)
April 2010

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