Your mum probably doesn’t want to find a cookery book under the tree this year, any more than your dad wants another pair of novelty socks.
Christmas 2009 could be the most successful year ever for picking the perfect present, but it also shows that millions of us will still give unwanted gifts because we’ve not had enough time to put the thought into buying the perfect present.
Despite the amount we spend per person being down £18 from last year, according to the new research by eBay, this year we are putting more time and thought into finding the right gift for our loved ones. We are also spreading the cost of Christmas across the year, starting earlier and buying fewer gifts.
Obviously, asking the right questions will give you some idea of what the recipient really wants, but in many ways it’s the visual clues that can tell us more. So when sussing out some potential gifts with your nearest and dearest – make sure you pay close attention to their body language.
Body-language expert and author of The Body Language Bible, Judi James shares her top tips:
 Good facial expression: Intense face-gazing, like a dog that has seen a dog biscuit attached to its owner’s nose. They’ll continue to scan long after the gift has been mentioned, watching to see you got the hint and hoping you’ll ask for more details.
Bad facial expression: You mention the gift idea and they perform a horizontal right-left eye dart suggesting a desire for escape, plus a thin, mouth-stretch smile suggesting fear rather than pleasure.
Good vocal tone: A man’s tone will dip lower with pleasure, a woman’s will raise very slightly and become rather breathless. Both mimic sexual arousal!
Bad vocal tone: A man’s voice rises in tone (attempt to be polite and avoid being pulped if the gift is already purchased or the same has been bought in previous years) but then performs the ‘Dying fall’, dipping from high to low in one phrase. This tends to be followed by a glassy-eyed stare out of the window/at the TV or PC screen.
Good gesticulation: The hands will tend to rise up to chest area in a pseudo-celebratory gesture which in women will often be a hand-clasp. The hands are pulled in towards the chest as though miming receipt and instant ownership of the gift. This also mimics an animal getting and then protecting food.
Bad gesticulation: Incongruent gestures, ie sending mixed messages. This would involve a head-nod to agree with the gift suggested combined with folded arms to suggest a lack of desire or acceptance.
Good wording: Specific and detailed, as in ‘I’d love a monogrammed double suit carrier with external pockets and tie rack’
Bad wording: The long pause followed by over-congruent wording plus a plea aimed at your benefit rather than theirs, as in: ‘A soup-blender?… Yes that would be absolutely fantastic of course, brilliant, unbelievable….but are you sure you want to spend that much? I know you’re not that keen on soup’.
December 2009 | 
Give The Gift of Life This Christmas
