Strangers, shop assistants, well meaning friends and family, everyone has an opinion of the size of le bump.
General consensus being that it is far too small to be a sufficient home for two five and half month boys. The thing is I’m not really sure what they expect me to do about it, or indeed what an adequate response is? ‘I’m sorry’ hardly seems appropriate and neither does ‘p** off’! One thing everyone agrees upon, however, is that I will regret not capturing my bump for prosperity, however inadequate it is deemed in its current form. So I booked myself in with Imagethirst for a photo shoot.
Arguably I could have waited another couple of months when le bump is bound to have more gravitas before it was captured in all it’s giant glory, but then I run the risk of having to beg them to air brush varicose veins, weird sticky out-ey belly buttons and puffy ankles and all the other delights that come free with the latter stages of pregnancy. At least in its current modest form the bump comes relatively side effect free and doesn’t yet prohibit me from painting my own toes – admittedly I have to do so in an unconventional sideways bendy way but still…
I preened and prepped ready for the call of ‘lights, camera, action.’ My preferred look for any kind of special occasion is the same make up as usual – plus a bit for luck – and hair which is unmercifully attacked with tongs. An assault I try to curtail the right side of 80’s wedding hair – with varying degrees of success.
I arrived at the central London studios, minus a bit of lip-gloss, which somehow ended up in aforementioned locks en route, and made myself comfy on a plush leather sofa. As instructed I have bought along a bag containing some of my favourite bump outfits – Mamas and Papas jumper dress, JoJo Maman Bebe PJs and party frock and some beautiful Amoralia underwear – in case I feel brave but not as brave as Demi.
I meet Tiffany, who is to be my photographer for the day and responsible for immortalising what I hope will be a relatively short but wonderful period of functional fatness. She is friendly and fun and gives clear guidance on where to position feet and fingers and, a bit like Goldilocks (if she’d been up the duff), I seem to have found someone who thinks my bump is just right. I even don the frilly smalls assured by the presence of light boxes and back drops and silver brolly things which, I tell myself, can’t fail to help!
All in all my session takes just a couple of hours and I leave feeling like some sort of maternity Marilyn having whirled and winked in front of the lens for a morning of memories.
I return to the studios the following week for the viewing. The larger than life images projected show, I think, just the right amount of tong curling action… but, more importantly, just how magic the spells Tiffany cast from behind the lens were. I would recommend being brave in terms of the Demi spectrum of pregnancy pics because it is the scary sounding underwear snaps that really showcase le bump and will, I’m sure, be reflected upon for years to come.
As a twin-mum to be pregnancy is not something I anticipate doing again and however much I am looking forward to wriggling back into my skinny jeans and enjoying a glass or two of champagne I am certain I will look back with nostalgia at the days when my two babies slept inside of me.
Katy Hymas
November 2009
Take a look at ImageThirst.com
At 28 Katy is reluctant to hang up her party shoes for good just yet but admits that, at 5 months pregnant with twins, they may not get much wear over the coming months.
Having set up a PR company last year Motherhood was not exactly written into the business plan but the babies are a welcome surprise and someday, somehow, Katy hope she can have it all; shiny shoes and a business suit, party shoes and nights out... and of course two healthy, happy bundles of joy.
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Motherly Love, Mental Leaps and Grains of Sand
