 Did you hear about the cracker's Christmas party?
It went with a bang!
What did the guest sing at the snowman's Christmas party?
Freeze a jolly fellow!
Who's working at MI5 on Christmas Day?
Mince spies!
What is Father Christmas's wife called?
Mary Christmas!
How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?
Deep pan, crisp and even!
What do you call a man who claps at Christmas?
Santapplause!
If athletes get athletes foot, what do rocket scientists get?
Missile-toe!
Mum, Can I have a dog for Christmas?
No, you can have turkey like everyone else!
What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
It's Christmas, Eve!
What did the big angel say to the little angel?
Halo there!
What does Dracula write on his Christmas cards?
Best vicious of the season!
Who is never hungry at Christmas?
The turkey - he's always stuffed!
Why does Father Christmas go down the chimney?
Because it soots him!
Why was the turkey the drummer in the pop group?
Because he was the only one with drumsticks!
Who delivers cat's Christmas presents?
Santa Paws!
How do you make idiots laugh on boxing day?
Tell them a joke on Christmas Eve!
How many chimney does Father Christmas go down?
Stacks!
What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time?
Sandy Claus!
Who beats his chest and swings from Christmas cake to Christmas cake?
Tarzipan!
What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective?
Santa Clues!
Why are turkeys wiser than chickens?
Ever heard of Kentucky Fried Turkey?
Where do you find reindeer?
It depends on where you leave them!
Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
Because he had low elf esteem
What's a sheep's favourite Christmas carol?
We wish ewe a merry christmas.
And last but not least, here's a nugget of trivia....
Christmas Crackers have been around since 1847. But 150 years ago, crackers didn't contain jokes. Instead the mottoes inside were love verses, which eventually became puzzles and cartoons before becoming the terrible jokes found today.
November 2007 |
