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| Mum Linda with baby Lauren |
Most new mums find the first year with their baby the loneliest time of their lives.
A poll of 2,000 new mothers suggests that many women find it a struggle to adapt to motherhood. Nearly two-thirds said they lived a long way from their own mothers, and felt cut off from friends, family and work colleagues.
More than half felt `lonely and isolated where they live', almost half had `never really spoken to their neighbours', and 87% missed their pre-baby social life. Seven out of 10 women with a baby said their social life was either `non-existent' or `a fraction of what it was before baby arrived', but even worse, they felt `irritated' that their partner's social life hadidn't appear to have changed. Women said the main causes of their rows with their partner revolved around feeling isolated - because their partner was working or socialising.
A quarter of new mums said their relationship had `gone downhill' since having a baby. Women in London were the most isolated, with 53% saying their family lived more than 100 miles away.
TheBabyWebsite says: Many women fail to realise before the birth how much their lives will inevitably change. If you're expecting life to be different, it will be much easier to cope. Being the mother of a new baby is a huge responsibility and you will often feel stressed, tired, isolated and lonely. Don't try to be Super-Mum! Let a few things 'go' about the house and concentrate on yourself and your baby.
Many mums find that the demands of parenting can adversely effect their friendships. Friends with no children suddenly have less in common with you. Just bite the bullet and go out and make new friends. Join a parenting support group or go to toddler groups, mother and baby groups, mini-gym, tiny-talk, NCT coffee mornings...... If you're in the house and need to talk, go online and join a forum such as thebabywebsite forum and chat to other new mums. Don't forget to make time for yourself too. Even if it's just going out for a short walk on your own when your partner gets home from work.
October 2007
survey commissioned by Mother and Baby magazine and Tesco
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